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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29022177">Ends of Time</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackbirdfly0128/pseuds/blackbirdfly0128'>blackbirdfly0128</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Old Guard (Movie 2020)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Crusades, Crusades Era Joe | Yusuf al-Kaysani &amp; Nicky | Nicolò di Genova, Immortal Husbands Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicky | Nicolò di Genova, Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani is an Incurable Romantic, Nicky has guilt about being part of the crusades, Nicky | Nicolò di Genova Needs a Hug, Pre-Canon, Priest Nicky | Nicolò di Genova, if you consider the movie the start of canon, just a meet-cute while repeatedly killing each other</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 14:02:46</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,416</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29022177</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackbirdfly0128/pseuds/blackbirdfly0128</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>He was certainly persistent, this strange creature who refused to die. Though, no doubt, he probably thought the same thing of Yusuf, who certainly seemed stubborn in the same way. Were they demons, they were certainly the tricky kind- the kind no one thought to warn Yusuf he would face when he he went to protect his homeland from these faceless invaders.</p>
<p>--</p>
<p>Or, my take on the dinner scene and how they got from killing each other to immortal husbands</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicky | Nicolò di Genova</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>58</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Ends of Time</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>So this was brought to you by the fact that Nicky and Joe were literally laughing when reminiscing on how they met, but how they go absolutely feral (Nicky) or fluffy (Joe) when one of them is hurt or in danger, which I just could not get out of my head. Basically, I see it as this deep, unyielding devotion to one another, one that started the second they found each other in Jerusalem. How did this take shape, you ask? Hopefully this story explains it.</p>
<p>Happy reading!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>He was certainly persistent, this strange creature who refused to die. Though, no doubt, he probably thought the same thing of Yusuf, who certainly seemed stubborn in the same way. Were they demons, they were certainly the tricky kind- the kind no one thought to warn Yusuf he would face when he he went to protect his homeland from these faceless invaders.</p>
<p>No, this demon <em>had </em>a face, one that haunted Yusuf’s nightmares as the pair of them would seemingly take turns running the other through with a longsword each time they met. Yusuf even started to think of it as a game of sorts, what with the quirk of the other man’s lips and the gleam in his eyes.</p>
<p>He had very striking eyes, this demon who refused to die. Yusuf found himself staring into them quite a lot recently, what with the amount of time one of them spent on their back as the other hovered over him, their longsword buried deep into the other’s body. Yes, striking was the best way Yusuf could think to describe this demon’s eyes, what with how they refused to decide whether they were green or blue, but were always deeply focused on a given task.</p>
<p>Yusuf learned a lot about this other being- maybe no more man or demon than Yusuf himself- by looking at his eyes. No, <em>man</em>, Yusuf decided, for he himself was unwilling to sacrifice his ties to his sense of humanity and doubted his unwilling compatriot would, either. This man, he had some of the most expressive eyes Yusuf had ever seen. They were not expressive in the traditional sense, with bulging looks and hard glares. No, these eyes were telling in their subtlety, and in doing so revealed fundamental truths about the soul behind them; for if Yusuf had a soul, surely this man did, too.</p>
<p>Yusuf’s first observation: this man was merciful. Whenever he killed Yusuf (ran him through with a sword, mostly), it was never a slow death. They were swift. Perfunctory. And each time Yusuf lay on his back at this man’s mercy, his eyes held no sense of pride or accomplishment as Yusuf had suspected of these invaders. As he had seen on the faces of other invaders as they cut down his brethren. No, the first time he killed Yusuf, the other man’s expression was practically unreadable.</p>
<p>But Yusuf learned after that. Watching a man’s face as he kills you multiple times starts to change things.</p>
<p>After that, Yusuf found he could read the hard lines of this man’s face as he lay there dying. He was ashamed of his actions. He found no joy in what his men had been supposedly called to do. That thought caused Yusuf to turn a bit from his belief that this man could still be a demon. Perhaps there was more to his presence in Yusuf’s life and homeland than just a heartless invader, this man with striking eyes that were beginning to haunt Yusuf’s nightmares and carry him through his dreams. Those eyes that would stay with him each time he woke from death alone, only to shortly be reunited with his killer and exact his revenge in this unending, inhuman game. It felt almost like a dance.</p>
<p>The second thing Yusuf saw in this man’s eyes was kindness. Kindness in the way he would look Yusuf in the eye each time he killed him, the way he would hold his gaze until the weight of death would pull him under. This man knew what a fright it was to die, and while he could not suffer Yusuf to live, he also refused to let him perish alone. He never stayed long enough to be there when Yusuf awoke, though. </p>
<p>Even still, without a common tongue, Yusuf was almost sure that the quiet murmuring he heard pass through the other man’s lips just before he died was a <em>prayer</em>. How could this man hold any court with a demon and yet be able to pray with such sincerity? Another tick in the column against the argument that this strange man was possessed by something evil.</p>
<p>Even in Yusuf’s tainted heart, he could see this prayer for the kindness it was, and strange as anything else in his new life, it lifted his spirits to hear it.</p>
<p>Yusuf’s third observation was that this man was incredibly brave. Just as he would not let Yusuf suffer death alone, so too would he not allow Yusuf to see him wallow in fear as he lay upon his own back, impaled on Yusuf’s sword. While he almost certainly did not <em>welcome </em>death, he did not beg for his life, either. No, his eyes were hard set against Yusuf’s. He did not back down. Yusuf thought him all the better and stronger for it.</p>
<p>As Yusuf came to recognize this man’s mercy, kindness, and bravery, he also began to recognize how the man’s eyes would follow him along the battlefield. If Yusuf didn’t know the man as well as he did- after all, what better way to bind two souls together than to have them repeatedly meet death the each other’s hands- Yusuf could swear the man was stalking him. But no, now he could tell that the other man was...considering Yusuf. And debating his next move.</p>
<p>Curious to see where this could lead him, Yusuf picked up his sword and edged away from the battlefield. As Yusuf suspected, the other man followed, his own weapon hanging casually from his side.</p>
<p>Yusuf wasn’t sure how long he walked away from the battlefield, if it was minutes or hours, but every time he looked over his shoulder, the other man was following at a respectable distance behind him. Eventually, Yusuf and the other man came upon a rocky hillside with a small cave just large enough for the two of them to take shelter in as they sat beside one another. For the first time, Yusuf found himself within close proximity to the other man without either of them seemingly having immediate intentions of killing one another.</p>
<p>And sitting here beside this strange man, Yusuf was, for perhaps the first time in his life, absolutely speechless. But this man, this other deathless spirit, somehow knew how to read Yusuf just as well as Yusuf could read him, because he was the first to break this seemingly endless silence between them.</p>
<p>“So you, too, have grown tired of the swords between us?” He asked in surprisingly fluent Greek. Given how far West these invaders came from, Yusuf was fairly shocked to hear that they did, in fact, have a common tongue.</p>
<p>Yusuf looked again to this man’s eyes, and he saw those familiar near-expressions: bravery, yes. Kindness, surely. And mercy for how lost Yusuf surely felt. But he also saw something new in this man’s eyes: uncertainty. Fear. And a desire to trust that the one other person who had been been subjected to this same fate was, at the least, not a hateful one. After all, Yusuf and this other man were supposed to be on opposite sides of the war. But in that man’s fear, Yusuf saw an opportunity for the two of them to strike up a peace between them. No matter the conflicts on the battlefield, Yusuf found that he could bear for there to be conflict between the two of them. So he returned what he hoped was an expression of resolution.</p>
<p>“Yes, I have. I find it weighs more than just the burden of steel, and I sought a reprieve, as it seems you did.”</p>
<p>“I am called Niccolo,” the other man offered.</p>
<p>“And I am Yusuf.”</p>
<p>“Yusuf,” Niccolo repeated, testing the name on his tongue. His eyes grew soft around the edges. He liked it.</p>
<p>Yusuf felt a stirring in his chest, and a question brewing in his heart.</p>
<p>“How is it you came to be here, Niccolo? Fighting a war you clearly do not believe in?”</p>
<p>“What’s to say I don’t believe in it?” He tried for a playful tone. He failed.</p>
<p>Yusuf chuckled. “Well, besides the fact that you walked off the battlefield just now with someone who you came here to conquer and have yet to kill me- again, I guess I should say- I can see that you are different from your brothers in arms. You take no pleasure in what you do. No joy in killing me, and thus fulfilling your mission. And I have yet to witness the rest of your brethren <em>pray</em> over those they kill. You are different than them, Niccolo, I can see it.”</p>
<p>Guilt ate away at Niccolo’s eyes again. “You know nothing of my mission here,” he says, turning and stalking to a large boulder at the mouth of the cave, sitting heavily, the weight of the world pulling his shoulders down and forcing him to collapse. Yusuf followed him, kneeling instead at his feet than attempting to stand beside him. With what he hoped were gentle fingers, Yusuf tilted Niccolo’s chin up to meet his gaze. Niccolo sucked in a shuttering breath, but he held Yusuf’s gaze.</p>
<p><em>He is the bravest man I know</em>, Yusuf thought to himself, and the notion nearly knocked the wind out of him.</p>
<p>“Oh is that so? Then please, enlighten me,” he asked, hoping a light tone would help ease at least a little of Niccolo’s burden.</p>
<p>“Back in Italy, I was a priest. And the king and all these people kept saying we needed to defend the Holy Land. That it was God’s will,” Niccolo scoffed. “In my heart, I knew they were wrong, that no loving God would call us to slaughter innocent people in His name. They taught us that your people were hateful. That this was necessary to protect the holiest sites in Christendom. It made me sick to my stomach, but I came anyway, because I thought that maybe for all the evil I knew they would bring, perhaps I could pray for God’s forgiveness. His guidance. I wanted to help. I never wanted to be part of the violence. But so many of our men had been killed. They put a sword in my hand and threw me out on the battlefield and I was so brokenhearted I just did what was commanded. </p>
<p>“I saw your face that day, and I knew in an instant that I would never forget you. When I prayed over you, I was begging God to have mercy on you, and for him to protect your people from the evils we would surely bring.”</p>
<p>“You did not pray for forgiveness?” Yusuf asked, genuinely surprised. Niccolo huffed out a half-laugh.</p>
<p>“No. I would never be worthy of forgiveness, I know that. When I saw you rise, over and over again, I was convinced that you were sent from God to punish me for my part in this terrible war. That’s why I finally stopped trying to kill you, and instead let you have your way with me. I thought you were destined to haunt me forever, and I was not about to act against what I saw as God’s will. Not again. <em>Not ever again</em>.” And oh, his face is so haunted that Yusuf just wants to banish every thought of grief and guilt this man could ever carry.</p>
<p>“When I saw you walking off the battlefield, I knew I had to follow. I am done with this senseless war. My heart cannot take it. I have always been a man of God, and I feel like I betrayed Him. I will not do so again.</p>
<p>“At first, I believed you were haunting me. You were God’s way of punishing me for turning my back on His word. But now, I think you are something different. Whatever we are, we are the same- no wound remains and death is ever temporary for us. And you looked at me and walked off the field, content with leaving the violence behind you, too. You were ready for something new. And I belief God gave me you to follow, to show me the right path when my heart in uneasy or lost. I never wanted to join this doomed war, but if I had not, I never would have found you. And while my heart is uneasy, and while I am afraid, I am a faithful man, and I have faith that we will learn this new world and this new life together. That is, if that is also what you wish.”</p>
<p>Yusuf could barely breath, let alone think, but Niccolo was looking at him with such bold, vulnerable eyes that he was powerless to lose himself. He rose so he was positioned on his knees, his hands moving to frame Niccolo’s face.</p>
<p>“When I first woke from death at your hand, I believed myself to be a ghost, destined forever to roam the earth alone. And then you came to me again and I believed myself a demon, and that we would chase each other to the ends of time in a cosmic dance. But as we kept meeting at the end of each other’s swords, the more I came to understand the truth- that in each new death, what I was really given was a new chance at <em>life. </em>A new chance to be a better man, <em>That </em>is what you gave me, Niccolo, in each strike against me. You were showing me that I could be saved from that doomed life. And now that were know, we can drop our swords and walk away together, be become new men in this life we were given.”</p>
<p>Niccolo met his gaze with that determined look in his eyes that Yusuf was very quickly learning to love. Niccolo had a fierce spirit, and a determined will, and it was clear to Yusuf that he was a man of his word. He was loyal and dedicated, and for all that Yusuf did not know him, he knew that Niccolo would stand with him, wherever they went. Yusuf was beginning to understand that they <em>were </em>meant to chase each other, but not in the way that two demons taunt one another. No, they were meant to guide one another, in the way that two halves of a soul constantly push and pull against each other, meant to complete one another in this glorious dance across the ends of the earth.</p>
<p>And, seemingly, the ends of time.</p>
<p> </p>
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